Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Getting Your Ex Back By Cutting off Contact

By Erik J. Michaels

There are a lot of easy mistakes that you can fall into right after a breakup, but none more so than this. One of the most classic problems people face is what to say to your ex to get him back. The answer may surprise you: NOTHING!

With all the crazy feelings and desperation flying around, it is really easy to mess up your situation even more by staying in contact with your ex and accidentally flying off the handle with an outburst that you later realize you really shouldnt have said if you wanted to get him back. There are ways to deal with this, however.

Often you will hear the very good advice to take a break from each other, to enter a term of no contact between you whatsoever. What is considerably less common is to hear exactly how long this period should last. I recommend you keep it up for about a months time, as that is generally about the right amount of time for anger to die down and the missing of each other to set in.

It is absolutely crucial, however, that you stick to this rule with no straying! A lot of people fall into one of the two following mistakes and break the No Contact rule, making it all the harder to regain the respect and affection of your ex:

1. Drunk Dialing. Its natural to feel depression and loneliness over losing the love of your life, but turning to alcohol for comfort can have very nasty consequences. Sometimes you will find yourself so lonely and sad, that any judgement impairment can lead to a hastily dialed 3AM phone call to your ex that never ends well and is ALWAYS regretted in the morning after the hangover.

2. Text Message Terrorism. Immediately after a breakup, most of us go into Panic Mode and start doing everything we can to try to stop our exes at the door and keep them from leaving...so we resort to a virtual attack through our cell phones or email. Sending message after message, making call after call, all we end up doing is driving the loves of our lives crazy and forcing them to avoid us as much as possible.

Falling victim to these two errors can have a devastating impact on your efforts to get your ex back. Avoiding these mistakes will be extremely beneficial to you as you try to put together a plan for getting him back once and for all.

Through all this, the top value of this breaktime isnt damage control, its the breathing room you have to plan your next move...in fact, plan all your next moves Having an underlying strategy or technique to use makes your life exponentially easier, and best of all is if you can find a proven-effective process from another resource.

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