Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Before Learning How To Control Your Anger: You Must Learn Why You Are Angry

By Trevor Johnson

Anger is an emotion we have all experienced at some point in life. It is normally activated through some outside force that we are unable to control. Learning how to control your anger is important part of the anger process. It is unhealthy to let it continue building up; however, if you release it incorrectly it can be harmful to others around you.

Throwing items at the cashier because you waited in line longer than expected is not appropriate behavior. It is an extension of inappropriate behavior as the result of your anger. Feeling frustrated in this situation is a normal reaction. However, becoming extremely angry is not a normal reaction. If you are unable to control your anger, learning effective coping skills is highly recommended for behavior control.

Realizing you are overcome with anger, is extremely important in preventing a negative response. Excusing yourself for time to cool off may be, as simple as leaving the room. Stepping away from anger provoking circumstances will eliminate inappropriate behavior. Using the above driving situation as an example, instead of trying to catch up to the individual who cut you off, pull over and rethink the outcome before resuming your traveling. Pulling over will allow you to relax and continue with a positive reaction.

Relaxing is vital when angry. An effective way to relax is through your breathing. Concentrate fully on how you are breathing to take your mind off of the issue at hand. Breathing through your nose for a count of five, hold it while counting to five, and count to five while breathing out through your mouth.

Being angry is unhealthy and can leave you feeling miserable. If it is difficult to verbalize your thoughts, try writing them. Writing your thoughts in a personal journal is an excellent way for releasing anger. It is important to write what you are feeling at the time and why you think you became angry in the first place. After you have relaxed, go back to your journal and focus on what you have written. Doing this exercise daily will give you the option of noticing patterns to your anger.

Hitting a wall or worse, someone else is a sign the anger is completely out of control. If you are angry everyday for no apparent reason, you will need guidance on how to control the anger. Controlling anger is extremely important; however, finding the source of anger is also important. A therapist trained in anger management will be able to give you coping skills for controlling the anger, as well as, help figure out why you are so angry to begin with.

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