Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Identifying The Significant Stages In A Break Up

By Anne Torres

Shock and denial

This may be a combination of how dare they? And oh no! They did not. Whatever form this phase takes it can feel as though someone has dumped a bucket of ice cold water over your head. Denial can give the push to engage in self-destructive activities or unvarying rounds of hang up calls to his or her voice mail. Avoid this like the outbreak. Instead don't call your ex, don't text, and don't email.

Anger

This is perfectly normal and acceptable to feel after the end of a relationship. You may invest in voodoo dolls, think devilishly devious thoughts about her, call up your best friend and spend hours talking about all the things he or she did wrong, or simply rip up and burn all your photographs. Either way anger is healthy to a certain degree but avoid extreme or threatening behavior.

Depression

This is the best known of all stages of a breakup and one that can be the most critical if you allow it to be. While it is natural to be depressed if you are having thoughts of harming yourself during this time be sure to get help immediately.

Things you can do to avoid letting things get too low is plan outings with friends, keep away from spending time alone, start taking classes, or join a diversion assembly. Do anything to fill your hours and keep you from spending hours home alone thinking about your ex.

Acceptance

The final and best of the stages of a breakup is often referred to as acceptance. This is when you reach the point that you can view your relationship objectively and realize that there was no one person that was all good or bad in the relationship.

This is the time when you can look back on the happy memories and be glad you had the chance to love and be loved by this person. Possibly this is the time when you decide that you were not all that bad together and you would like another chance.

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