Saturday, July 25, 2009

Saving Your Relationship And Avoiding A Break Up

By Anne Torres

Initially, you have to know what you are NOT supposed to do: Don't beg - However much you feel like crushed down pulp inside, you have to project poise and strength. Pleading will make you very unappealing and very hard to answer to. How do you expect your ex to answer or return your calls when this is what you are saying to them: "Oh honey please! Please answer your phone or call me back. I've been calling you for 3 days now. I'm so concerned." Get my point?

Don't Fake An Emergency - This may get you some results but trust me, it's not the results you want to get. Don't go all somber on the phone and fake an emergency like "I just found out I had cancer yesterday" or "Honey! Our dog just broke his leg. Can you meet me at the vet?". Your ex is not going to like it when they find out the truth.

Don't Spam - Miss calling or sending SMS every 10 seconds is not going to perk up the situation. You'll be labeled a frantic creep in no time.

What you SHOULD be doing as a substitute: Interest and curiosity. Just like restarting a dead fire, you want to flicker the curiosity back up again and you do this by generating a quantity of curiosity. A simple effective way to do this over the answering machine / SMS / IM is by using this script:

"Hi Brad. It's me, Joliet. I just wanted to let you know that I am glad about what you did for me. Call me sometime." Do you see how curiosity comes into play there? The message is laid-back and does not project fear yet it is very intriguing. Brad must be wondering what it is that he did for Joliet. Joliet will be regularly in his thoughts until he can't resist the urge to find out by calling her.

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