Sunday, August 9, 2009

Moving on After a Breakup - The One Secret to Deal With the Breakup and Move On Quickly

By Jane Mccarthy

Are you in the middle of a painful separation right now? Do you find moving on after a breakup very difficult because all you can think about is your ex? Maybe you've tried everything to get your life back on track, but none of it is doing any good.

I realize it may not be just a small comfort, but most people experience a breakup at minimum one time in their lives, and almost everyone finds moving on after a breakup to be a nearly impossible task. You have a myriad on emotions going through your mind and often you don't even know what day it is.

While in the process of moving on after a breakup, we try many different things-all in hopes of getting back together with our lost love. Some of us keep in touch with our ex, hoping that they will change their mind and come back. Others go overboard and literally beg their ex to come back.

Of course, we only end up feeling worse, cause this kind of stuff rarely takes away the pain. In fact, what normally happens if we maintain regular contact with our ex is that we end up continually opening up the wounds that have been inflicted from the relationship and subsequent breakup. It's like constantly tearing open a scab and never allowing it to completely heal.

No, continual contact with our ex is not the right way to go about moving on after a breakup. So, what is the best way to move on? It's a simple answer, but can at times be hard to implement; we need to break away completely from our ex!

I'm talking no calls, texts, or seeing your ex UNTIL you have allowed yourself time to heal. Sometimes, circumstances dictate that you must see your ex, like if you work together or whatever. In that case, just be civil, but don't get into any deep or meaningful conversation with them. Just keep it to surface talk.

So, you might be asking "when would be a good time to re-establish contact with my ex?" Well, the answer is different for everybody. In most cases, 30 days is enough time to get a clean break and heal your wounds. If in doubt, go a little longer. Now, what do you do with all your free time apart from your ex? Get your mind together-work through all your feelings and thoughts surrounding your ex and the break up. Also, look at things you could do to improve yourself.

The final and most important key to moving on after a breakup is to decide right now that you are going to forgive your ex for all the things they did to hurt you. After you make this decision, you will find coping with the break up and moving on to be a lot less difficult task.

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