Everyone knows that if you drive a car, you have to change the oil on a regular basis. It seems obvious that cars need maintenance - but apparently less people realize that marriage needs maintenance too. There are lots of marriage counseling books available that will help you maintain (and enhance) your marriage. Spending a little time and money on one or several of these books can be a very wise investment. Consider how many marriages are hitting the rocks these days. In many cases, divorce might have been prevented, had the couple only put some effort into maintaining their marriage.
As far as marriage counseling books are concerned, it's not necessary to go with the latest fad. There are a number of classics that are just as valuable today as when they were first written. After all, the issues that today's marriages face are essentially the same as those faced by Adam and Eve: love, respect, finance, raising children, and so on.
One classic book that I like is "His Needs, Her Needs". It was written by Willard F. Harley, Jr, a practicing psychologist. He focuses on the fact that husband and wife have differing needs. These needs are so different that it's often the case that the husband doesn't even realize that he is not meeting his wife's needs, and vice versa. According to Dr. Harley, men's greatest need is usually sex, which should come as no surprise. For women he ranks affection first, which is something many men find it hard to deliver. In summary, Dr. Harley's encourages the husband and wife to make loving accommodations for each other's differing needs, even if it requires some self-sacrifice.
Another good book is "Getting the Love You Want," by Harville Hendrix, who is a practicing therapist. Dr. Hendrix himself is divorced, so he is personally acquainted with the pain of a failed marriage. His empathy and understanding shows in his writing. Dr. Hendrix takes the approach that we are attracted to our mates for unconscious reasons that we really don't understand. He summarizes these motivations in two statements. First, we are attracted to people who have both the positive and negative traits of those who raised us. Second, we are attracted to people who compensate for things we were deprived of in childhood. In other words, we often enter into a marriage expecting our spouse to be a kind of "second-chance parent" who will make up for all the mistakes of the first.
This idea that our spouse is a kind of surrogate parent seems a little fishy to me. However, Dr. Hendrix does make an interesting case, using a number of case histories from his own experience. One of these cases involves John, a self-described "dull businessman" who falls hard for Cheryl, who if anything is too emotional. This very same characteristic that at first attracts him, very soon becomes too much for him to handle.
I encourage you to explore some of the options for marriage counseling books. You can probably get recommendations from your friends and acquaintances - or just browse through a bookstore, which doesn't even cost anything. Put some time and effort into maintaining your marriage, and you will reap huge rewards.
As far as marriage counseling books are concerned, it's not necessary to go with the latest fad. There are a number of classics that are just as valuable today as when they were first written. After all, the issues that today's marriages face are essentially the same as those faced by Adam and Eve: love, respect, finance, raising children, and so on.
One classic book that I like is "His Needs, Her Needs". It was written by Willard F. Harley, Jr, a practicing psychologist. He focuses on the fact that husband and wife have differing needs. These needs are so different that it's often the case that the husband doesn't even realize that he is not meeting his wife's needs, and vice versa. According to Dr. Harley, men's greatest need is usually sex, which should come as no surprise. For women he ranks affection first, which is something many men find it hard to deliver. In summary, Dr. Harley's encourages the husband and wife to make loving accommodations for each other's differing needs, even if it requires some self-sacrifice.
Another good book is "Getting the Love You Want," by Harville Hendrix, who is a practicing therapist. Dr. Hendrix himself is divorced, so he is personally acquainted with the pain of a failed marriage. His empathy and understanding shows in his writing. Dr. Hendrix takes the approach that we are attracted to our mates for unconscious reasons that we really don't understand. He summarizes these motivations in two statements. First, we are attracted to people who have both the positive and negative traits of those who raised us. Second, we are attracted to people who compensate for things we were deprived of in childhood. In other words, we often enter into a marriage expecting our spouse to be a kind of "second-chance parent" who will make up for all the mistakes of the first.
This idea that our spouse is a kind of surrogate parent seems a little fishy to me. However, Dr. Hendrix does make an interesting case, using a number of case histories from his own experience. One of these cases involves John, a self-described "dull businessman" who falls hard for Cheryl, who if anything is too emotional. This very same characteristic that at first attracts him, very soon becomes too much for him to handle.
I encourage you to explore some of the options for marriage counseling books. You can probably get recommendations from your friends and acquaintances - or just browse through a bookstore, which doesn't even cost anything. Put some time and effort into maintaining your marriage, and you will reap huge rewards.
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Learn more about how to save your marriage and prevent a divorce today! Click on this link today: Marriage Counseling Books or have a look at: Marriage Problem and discover how to get your spouse back for good!
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